Mommy's milk

• As of next month I will have been pregnant or breastfeeding for four years now. Tonight as I was nursing my walking and talking (well if you count "Hiiiiii" and "MomMommeeee", which I do because I am MomMomeeee and I like to be greeted) almost 12 month old, I started thinking about when I will stop nursing. I'm not sure. If she is my last baby, I'd like to continue for a while. If she is not my last baby, I may get to go on this joyous ride again. Or maybe I will line up twenty bottles a day and let Daddy be the sole source of food for a good year. He hasn't known the joy of waking up twenty minutes after you've fallen asleep by a baby screaming in your ear or waking up five times a night to care for someone that doesn't even know your name. All this because he doesn't lactate. And really, it would never be the same unless he had a baby attached to his nipples all night long and the only way he could get some sleep was with his right arm up above his head long asleep before the rest of his body and little suckling here and there with a huge tug as the baby tries to roll over with said nipple still in mouth.
Anyway, these thoughts were really about lessons, not bitching that I am the only one that lactates in this house. I am all for nursing. But here are some things I have learned. Not only will your body never be the same after pregnancy, your boobs become totally separate beings. Sure they are still attached to you and people will stare because your cute little Bs are now huge Ds, but they are not Pam Anderson Ds. They are Grandma May's Ds. Mine rest comfortably on my stomach, which will also never be the same, but I'm sure if I had another baby and nursed instead of forcing my husband to lactate, they would be down to my knees. When you first start nursing, people all over recommend a nursing pillow. I bought a Boppy. I loved it, it's was soft, it was comfortable, and I took it everywhere we went. When I had Zoe I couldn't wait to use it again. I put it in my lap, wrapped it around my belly, put Zoe on it and tried to nurse. This worked for about a week. Then it became incredibly uncomfortable. For some reason it was just easier to nurse her without the Boppy Pillow. For a while I just assumed it was because I was now a pro at this nursing thing since I nursed Arwen for fifteen months. But no, I soon realized it's because my boobs sit so much lower than they did after my first pregnancy, so Zoe could just lay down low in my lap and still reach my boobs. Boob texture is also something to think about before diving into the joys of nursing. Those cute and firm Bs I had when my husband first married me have turned into soft, sagging, lumpy sacks of milk. Before when I would lay on my back they would point to the ceiling screaming touch me touch me! Now they look left and right and if you were to come near them, you may just get sprayed in the face. My husband can attest to that. And today when I dared to put on a bathing suit, I noticed they have started to gently wrap around to my side and are nestled comfortably in my armpit. Not the whole of them, but a nice boob tire, if you will.
So if I were to meet a new mother today I would advocate breastfeeding, it really is a wonderful experience, really because most if it is done when you are half asleep and you don't remember much of it because you're in that Mommy haze anyway. Much like childbirth, which is why so many women keep doing it; they forget how bad it really is until they go into labor and oh shit, it's too late now! But I would also warn moms that you will never be the same. Your husband's mouth on your nipples is never quite the same because you just fed a small child just moments ago and it seems large enough to feed a small village. Or your husband is afraid to play anymore because he doesn't like his coffee that sweet even though he says he does. But most of all, it's really expensive to put them back into place. I do have a paypal account, and I'm willing to set up a Put Stephanie's Boobs Back In Place fund. This is probably my last child, unless I can talk my husband into putting up with me pregnant again and another year of no sleep. I guess I'm a bit of a bitch when I am pregnant, but I wouldn't remember, because like many mothers, I only hold onto the joys of motherhood. Such as cuddling with my babies all night long when everyone else is asleep; are you familiar with Art Bells' radio show, yea thought not because it's on from 1am to 5am! Oh, and being MomMomeeee!

Toy guns and toddlers

I know parents talk about this stuff all the time, but I still need to do it myself.

So I've had a bad day and needed a time waster, so I called a friend whose husband is out of town and asked if she wanted to head to McDonald's to let the kids burn off some energy. A little playtime at McD's shouldn't hurt.

So we ate, then we let the kids play. They are all playing so well, and this playplace is great because it's all music stuff and brand new. They even have baby sized stuff for my little one to climb on. She was having a blast. So the first thing that happened was a big kid (like 8 or 9) kept climbing on the baby/toddler stuff and knocking Zoe over. His father said something to him once and that one time I notice his dad signing to him, so I didn't know if I should say something or not. I know a little bit of sign language, but I don't know "tell your kid to get the fuck off mine" in sign, so I didn't say anything at all.

Anyway...not the point at all, but speaking of point.... Two boys, about 5 and 7 came along one wearing toy handcuffs on his wrist and both carrying toy guns. They were very plastic looking, one bright orange and one silver. One walked right up to my 12 month old and pointed it in her face and said "bang bang" Now neither of my kids know what that means, but shit! Effing freaked me out. I told Arwen two more minutes, mumbled something like, "no, please don't do that" to the kid with the toy gun and moved Zoe to another area. After coaxing my three year old down from the slide area, one of the kids walked by me and pushed me to get by - I was half was in the play structure getting her to come down. I said, excuse me in a really rude fashion and then said that wasn't very nice. Now it's not usually my style to correct other kids, but this was pissing me off! So then the one that didn't push me said sorry and I thanked him for saying it. They went up, and came down the slide, I was getting my daughter's shoes on and the one that pushed came around pointing that gun at everyone. No one said a word. Until he got to me and pointed it at Arwen. I looked at him and said "Stop, get away from us, I don't like you pointing guns at my kids. Let us move out of the way and you can play, but not with us"
I was so pissed.

So here's the question. Do you let your kids play with toy guns? If you do, do they just do it at home or do you let them take them out in public? If you're not at that age yet, do you think it is right for parents to allow these kinds of toys in a public play area? I know they are just toys, but I feel that parents should respect that many kids might be frightened my them or many parents might feel uncomfortable and they should leave them at home and only play with them when they are around they friends that allow them, but not in a playplace for goodness sakes. We are Columbine....how many times a day do I see that on bumper stickers, license plates and other things living here.... what are your thoughts?

Puke Fest!

No, not some great college band festival, but two weekends now of my kids throwing up on me every time I come near them. Now, when you are a puking toddler or a puking baby, you seem to want Mommy even more than normal. Who knew that was possible? But when Mommy comes near, you have that strong urge to purge. I am hoping not to pass the flu bug along to anyone else this week. I thought we all got lucky after last weekend when only my oldest had it. It seems the baby's strange diapers I've been talking about all week were a sign of another pass of the flu bug tearing up her tummy. All is good now, well....another bad diaper this morning, but all is good enough for now. I just hope my husband doesn't suddenly get the urge to purge on the flight to Georgia this morning! Boy that would suck!

Time - faster than the speed of light

• Zoe started walking this past Monday. I was so lucky to catch it on video. Arwen started walking around the same age, and that was two years ago! I brought up all of Arwen’s 12 month fall/winter clothes for Zoe to wear this fall and as I was looking through them, I just knew Arwen had worn them last year and there was no way they would fit Zoe. After scrapbooking last night, I started looking through those pictures for the pages I have coming up and there was my little toddler, having just learned to walk wearing those clothes I had just brought up from the basement. No, it was last year that she had worn those clothes; it was in fact two years ago. Now what has happened to the last year? As Jeff and I have always done in our marriage, we managed to make it a hectic and busy year. At the first of the year, we had a three month old, we potty trained a toddler, we decided in the spring to build a new house, suddenly summer hit and we had a three year old just like that, now it's fall and that little three month old that was just learning to coo yesterday is walking. It's taken me all year to get used to having two kids. Now I know they are mine and I am used to having both of them attached to me all the time, I just don't know where the last year went. And some of you do this almost every year! WOW~

The Sweetest Little Girl

Tonight I had a few friends over to scrapbook and Arwen had a tough time going to bed. She wanted to read lots of books and wanted to know what I was going to be doing downstairs with the other Mommies. About ten minutes after putting her down, lighting her stars, turning on her moon and leaving her room, she comes downstairs with one Minnie Mouse slipper on one foot and tells me she needs her other slipper before she can go to bed. The two of us go upstairs together and find her other slipper in bed hidden beneath a princess blanket. I bid her goodnight again and head back downstairs to work on the scrapbook I haven't seen in well over a year. I look at the pictures of her from two years ago and wonder with a small tear in my eye who that little girl is in that picture. Before I can recover from the emotion a three year old walking into the kitchen brings me back to the present. She looks around at the faces around here. Faces that she sees a lot, but is probably unsure of since they do not have toddlers attached to them at the moment. She finds my face and says, "I have to go potty" So we head upstairs together again. Now as soon as we get into the bathroom, she tells me she is bothering me, so I have to stand out in the hallway.(Yep, she is bothering me) I peek at her through the door – you can do this with your own three year old – and wait until she's done, pretend like I'm just checking on her, knock on the door and come back in. I ask if she went potty; like I didn't know from peeking, and then we head off into her bedroom. Now you may ask what makes all this so sweet…besides the fact that it is all really sweet. When we get to her room, she tells me "I was looking for a present for you everywhere. In the play room, in your room, in the bathroom, and I can't find a present for you." Now I'm starting to think to myself, as us parents do too often, you are just trying to keep me here a little longer because there are people downstairs. And though I'm not showing it yet, I am starting to feel that little sense of impatience coming on. She continues telling me that she wanted to find a really special present for me but couldn't find one in all the places she looked. Then she grabs Pablo off her bed and says "Here, you can have Pablo." She is the sweetest girl I could ask for. Sure she wanted a little extra attention because she knew I had some extra to give since I was giving it to others that were downstairs. But I got a very special gift, not just Pablo, but a sweet thought from my little girl that my pictures are showing is growing too fast! Now Pablo and I must head to bed – I do fear a small meltdown if he is not found in bed with me in the morning!

NAPS

Naps
I guess naps were never discussed in the "So you want to have a baby" classes Jeff and I took when I was pregnant. If they were, I may not have so many questions about naps. Do we skip the morning nap, do I force the afternoon nap, should I drive 50 miles out of my way so the baby can sleep - this question is usually asked about 10 minutes from out destination.

Arwen has friends her age that don't take a morning nap. And it would seem that we'll never see them as long as we stay on this current schedule. Arwen likes to wake up at 6am. Her friends sleep until 8am or longer. By the time they are getting ready for the day, Arwen is waving to everything in the house. She does this wave thing to let me know that she's ready to sleep. This way neither of us has to actually say the word nap or the word sleep.

I thought at first that maybe I needed to work on getting her some new friends that she would stay awake to see. But everyday I watch her stare out the dining room window and say these words "Jack, Joe, Jack, Jackie!!", as she look at Jackson and Joseph's house. So I am now sure that her friends fall far above the acceptable line, and I have decided that she just wakes up too early to keep up with her friends.

Which in the end is good, because who has time to get new friends!

She did it!

I left Arwen naked for about an hour and a half tonight and put her on the potty every 20 minuted or so. Just when I was doing the last potty trip and about to put her in her diaper and PJs. she peed on the potty!

She got so excited, I was so happy and excited for her - then she cried. She skipped a nap today and was ready for bed at 7pm, but I kept her going. I think once she knew we were putting on jammies, she was ready to show just how worn out she was.

I hope I can keep going. I know peeing on the potty the first time isn't a big deal, and I know after 1.5 hours, she was ready and would have done it on the floor or wherever she was at the moment, but I am excited for her!

Arwen potty training day 1

Potty Time Day 1
Arwen has been talking about her poop for quite some time now, so back in December I decided to buy her a Royal Potty. As soon as I sat her on it she cried. Santa was on his way, so we decided to give her a break with the potty and wait until after the new year to introduce it to her. For a few weeks I asked her about her potty, she'd get real excited and run over to it, put one foot in the bowl and stand in it. This isn't going to be easy, is it?

Time for another try. I start by telling her when I am going to the potty. I sang songs, I did the potty dance and get her attention enough to come into the bathroom with me when I went. Once she was in the bathroom, it became a different story. Suddenly, the cat food or the tower of toilet paper was more exciting than watching Mommy pee.

So I decided I would wake up bright and early today, get showered before she woke up and the moment I heard her awake, I would begin Operation Potty. I bought a training seat to go over the toilet in her room since the Royal Potty is only good for standing. Promptly at 6am, my alarm clock went off and then again at 6:07am...like clockwork. And like a woman that hasn't depended on an alarm clock in almost 2 years, I rolled over again telling myself five more minutes never hurt anyone. Somewhere around 6:30am, I heard Arwen playing. I had two options. Get up, shower and just let her pee in her diaper, or get her up, and sit her on the potty with both of us only half awake. I opted to wait until I had at least one cup of coffee and she was a bit happier.

Somewhere around 9am, I was feeling a bit awake and had to pee a bit myself, so we came up stairs and talked about the potty. I asked her if she had to pee in the potty. And she emphatically said "YES!"

Well, this is going to be easier than I thought. So I brought her favorite potty book into the bathroom, took her sleeper and diaper off and sat her on the potty. She didn't try to put her foot in it and stand up, but she did want "Down-da" a few times before she got really comfortable. I read "The New Potty" to her about five times and then asked if she needed to pee in the potty. Again a very
enthusiastic "Yes!"

Now she was reading the book and I was telling a story about a little girl names Arwen that relaxed, read a book and then peed on the potty. A couple of minutes later, she was ready to get down. When I asked if she needed to pee on the potty, she said "no"

I'm not going to push it and at this point I was hoping for a bit more coffee. Note to self, bring more than one book into the bathroom with you next time.

So she goes down for a nap. And when she wakes up, I rush into her room, thinking I will strip her down, put her on the potty and she will pee!
As soon as I picked her up, I felt the warmth spreading across her diaper. Too late. Off to lunch.

In the afternoon, I reintroduced her to the Royal Potty. Every time she stepped in it and stood there like king of the throne, I picked her up and played a game called let's sit on the potty. I kept her naked for about an hour and decided that it might be best to go back upstairs where the potty is on the toilet. She can't climb that and seems to enjoy sitting on it.

Upstairs, she sat on the potty, we read a book, played with a duck and she told me YES a few times when I asked if she needed to pee and then she wanted her milk. Immediately thoughts of liquid producing pee ran through my head. "Let's go get your milk," I said; and off we went. I was going to give her about ten minutes of holding her milk cup, drinking it and playing before I asked the question again. A few more sips and the question would be flying out of my mouth.

That's when Arwen said "Pee pee potty!" and peed on my bedroom floor!

We got dressed and went on a few errands. There will be a day two!

Words should be taught by children
Why bother teaching children the proper way of saying a word. Personally, I'd prefer to wake up in the morning and have a big cup of "fawkey" to wake me up before I start the day. Arwen is starting to put real words into sentences now, but I miss the days, you know last month, when potatoes were "Toe Pees" and coffee was "fawkey".

She still says down-da when she no longer wants to be in her highchair and she says climb when she wants me to pick her up, but lately her cutest thing is saying
"Ein tine" when you draw a picture of a face with hair sticking straight up. This of course is from the Baby Einstein videos. I wonder if she will be disappointed when she discovers Einstein was not just a stick figure's face on a children's video.

So I say grab a cup of fawkey and learn a few things from your children for a change.

Mommy = Barbie

Mommy = Barbie
I am so flattered. Arwen has on three different occasions pointed to a picture of Barbie and said Mommy.

She did it one day last week when we were at Kohl's. I was looking at Hallmark ornaments and there was a box of wrapping paper sitting at her eye level. She kept pointing and saying Mommy Mommy Mommy. Not trying to get my attention, but matter of fact like. As we left I asked what she was looking at and she said Mommy again. I looked and it was Barbie wrapping paper.

Then she did it at Michaels when we were standing in line. There were stickers of Dora (who she knows) and Barbie at the counter. She pointed to the blonde Babrie and said Mommy and the brunette Babrie and said doll.

Yesterday she said it again, so I starting to feel a little flattered that my daughter thinks I am Barbie. One day she'll know the truth....for now I'll let her believe in Santa Claus too.

Stephanie