Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Announcing Naked Week

It appears I am quite grumpy this week. And to top that off, I had a migraine yesterday that has decided to stick around for a whole extra day. Lucky me. In light of putting away four loads of laundry that were washed and dried two days ago, I’ve decided to make next week naked week. Remember this was just after seven loads of laundry on Saturday and I’m expecting about five on Friday after Jeff returns home with his suitcase. If I’m feeling a bit more optimistic by the weekend, I may claim it PJ week. I know there is a part of me somewhere that recognizes it is December and cold and it might not be practical to be naked all week. However, if I do this, please understand that you will be allowed one set of PJs to get you through the week, so please make sure you don’t spill milk or oatmeal on them. One set of PJs consists of one pair of pants and a night shirt to go with them OR one nightgown. Since our home is always about 70 degrees, I see no point in wearing pants, a night gown and a shirt over that. Technically that is two pairs of jammies at one time. Is there really a need for that? I figure since you all wear PJs only once before they are washed, wearing the same ones all week might teach you something. Going naked might teach you more, so I’m still with naked, though I do realize you won’t really learn anything from it - but I could just relax laundry free for a week and make you think about all the things you could be learning from it. I do appreciate that Arwen at the ripe old age of six loves to put her laundry away, but I’m also not so sure that’s enough for me to want to wash hers next week. It is a school weeks, so I think I’ll have to allow uniforms. Thank you and enjoy your clothing this week because next up is naked week! Oh, and while I’m at it….I’m trying to gather all the Little People together to give Santa room to give you new and better toys, so please stop taking them and hiding them. Santa said he doesn’t want to see Little People in this house anymore and he may not actually leave us presents unless the last two animals from the zoo are returned.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Cats, Kittens, Bite, and Scratches

I write a lot of things. The past two days I have written a lot of things on Facebook about cats!
I am so angry and though I struggle with the fact that this person that allowed this to happen is a family member, I also struggle with the fact that this person is....well family. Makes sense to those thinkers out there and I know you are a thinker.
What has happened with these cats is so wrong on so many levels, I can barely grasp it all.
So first, there were two de da....rainbows, sunshine, sky rockets in flight, afternoon delight, those cats had kittens. We, as a family, told him to get the kittens to a shelter. At the time we had cats that were just under a year old that we adopted and we knew that people love kittens. Who doesn't love a kitten? Well, my dad, but that's because he's a guy that looks ahead and knows kittens turn into cats, which he doesn't like as much as kittens, but most people that like cats, like them to be kittens first. Moving on....months later, we see him again and he still has all the kittens. We remind him that kittens turn to cats and hope that he remembers the sky rockets in flight and knows what could happen next. He is of the oh so mature age of forty three, after all, so it's not too much to ask for personal responsibility, right? No, evidently it is too much to ask.
More months go by. I'm not sure how many, but I can guess our two cats that are well loved and given lot of care and affection, have gone through countless bags of food, have had more belly rubs that I have toes, and have enjoyed a few moon cycles from the comfortable spot they share on Arwen's bed.
His lease is not renewed. In my thinking mind, I'm sure this would have meant eviction if the lease were not up for renewal. The story goes, the neighbors complained of a smell. Maintenance entered the apartment and was shocked to find at least eight cats running around a little six hundred square foot apartment. I've rented apartments. I'm lucky to not have to rent an apartment at this stage in my life, but I spent many years throwing money away so someone else could gain from my choice of habitat.
Of those years, I'm sure I never crossed a lease that allowed more that two cats. Once in Charlottesville, VA, I had three cats, but I picked one up while still living in Richmond from the neighbors before they moved out because they felt leaving her outside with some leftovers from dinner was acceptable. I broke the rules of my lease and allowed her to live in my apartment where I liked to fatten my kitties with Meow Mix and Friskies from a can. I continued to break the rules of my lease when I moved to Charlottesville. But I also didn't think three was excessive. Little Amy needed a good home without leftovers and I was able to give that to her. Emily hated me for it, but Saliers didn't care as long as he got most of what was left in the can of food.
Eight cats is a big issue! Eight cats cannot be cared for by one person that works double shifts and has little time to rub those tummies and ears. Eight cats means sixteen ears. That's a lot of rubbing; more time that I'd be will to commit, and I'm sure most of you would agree!
So when the lease wasn't 'renewed,' he moved into his mothers house while he got back on his feet. With his eight cats. Only without telling anyone, the eight cats, or at least two of them heard about those skyrockets, and sometime during one of those double shifts, they went into flight and wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, there were three least! So when he moved into his mother's house, he didn't bring eight cats with him, he brought eleven. Telling people like your mother, with whom you are about to share space, that you are bringing your stereo but won't keep the music loud, and your TV, but will share the remote, and oh about those eleven cats (!) is a important in my book. I think it's right up there with can I sleep at your house tonight while mine is being repainted, but oh by the way, I'll be using your toothbrush, and did I tell you I spend from 5pm in the afternoon until morning nude, but I don't actually go to bed until midnight. And I like to do yoga in front of the TV while watching my favorite show at 8pm. Nude. Important stuff, right? You might change your mind about me coming over. Luckily, many of you have been here after 5pm and know I like to stay clothed and like to talk about how much I enjoy yoga but don't actually do it...ever. But now I’ll understand why I won't be allowed to stay the night at your house and I feel so lucky my house doesn't need paint just yet.
So now he and his eleven cats are in his mother's house. And she thinks there are a few. Five cats, maybe….? Six even….she has no idea there are eleven!
A few weeks go by and by the grace of not being actually evicted, he is allowed to rent a new apartment. Jeff helps him move, Jeff watches him scratch the tailgate on his brand new truck! It’s easy for forty-three year old children to not pay attention to little things like to drag a dresser across the tail gate or to pick it up and carry it. They move all of his things – except the cats!
The cats are left in a four hundred square foot finished basement. A couple of weeks go by and we get the frantic call from Jeff’s mother. She has no idea how many cats are in her basement, but she knows he left them there and they are tearing up her home. She has lost a couch, an oriental rug, a chair; her floors are ruined, he walls have been sprayed, and these cats were sharing three litter boxes. Eleven cats, three litter boxes, no one around to care for them….you do the math.
So Jeff goes in to rescue the cats, and I spend my day calling shelter, humane societies, and foster homes for cats and find a place for them to go. Jeff comes home with two to take to a friend’s house to be barn cats, takes two to a Humane Society, and is questioned for animal abuse because he has been beat to hell just trying to capture these cats.
If you have cats, take a moment and think about how hard it is to capture your cat if it’s time to go to the vet. Not easy, huh? It took him two weeks to catch these cats to take them to his mom’s house. Jeff gets there thinking he’s going to get five cats out of the house. After catching them the first night, we both go back, with our children, to get the last two. Only there are five that we can find.
After some time Jeff tries to figure out why some are so much smaller and why those are so mean. It took two days and lots of war wounds, but he figured out his brother’s secret: there was a new litter a few months ago. These ‘new’ kittens are completely feral! Completely! They are not used to humans, have no desire to become friendly with humans and feel their place in the world in inside the wall under the stairs. Tonight Jeff confronted his brother about this new litter and he finally admitted to knowing there was a new littler four months ago.
We told Jeff’s mom there are eleven cats total. I don’t think she’s all that surprised.

We still have a long way to go, two more to catch and get to a shelter, wounds to heal, keep an eye on, traps to return, and we need to find someone that will clean that house for her.
Here are a few things I’m am having a hard time wrapping my mind around. What kind of person thinks it’s OK to keep eleven cats? Why weren’t they given away when they were kittens? How lazy can one person become? And why? I was given an excuse tonight that he works thirteen hour days and didn’t have time to take them to a shelter. Are you kidding me? I’ll wait while you find the seat of your chair again……. I know….you don’t even have to say it.
The next thing I can get my mind around is consequence. We work so hard at teaching our children consequences for their actions in hopes that things like this won’t happen when they are eight years old or forty three years old. Why? What? Whoa! And these cats! These cats that have only known one another are being ripped apart after they have spent so much time creating their pride, if you will. The new kittens will have little opportunity at any life at all. They are aggressive and angry. They are mean. They attacked Jeff and one attacked a lady at the Human Society. I would bet money she will be put down after her ten day rabies watch is over. Or she can become coyote food. Either way, she never had a chance. How could he take away the chance for a life for these kittens? For at least four of these kittens, he has taken away their chance to be domestic well loved cats. And for the rest, he’s just sad we took them away from him, but has yet to show me he cares what actually happens to the cats.
Where is the consequence? He was allowed to take the original two cats to his new apartment and move on with his life. Jeff has lost days of work, time with his family, money for traps and fees to surrender the animals to the shelter, and sleep over all of this. I have lost too much time, I have put my children at risk by taking them over there, and I have spent so much emotion on this I am beat.
I don’t know where to go from here, but I am so saddened by this. They were beautiful cats and wilder than those big cats I have seen at the zoo. Where is the consequence? Who treats their mother like this? Where is the respect for life? Where do we go from here?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Spring stuff

I really need to keep better track of the super cute things my kids do and say. I’m sorry for them that I haven’t kept track of every detail. Zoe was looking at cards with pictures and words yesterday and she held one up that said igloo. Before she got to that one, I would ask her what the picture was then what the letter represented was and what the word was. She’s only three and a half, so she’s not reading yet, but she does know those letters. We went through a few words, like ring, web, dog, robot and apple. When we got to I and igloo, I asked her what the picture was and she said, ‘polar bear house.’ It was so cute and in my head I could see her envisioning polar bears building this igloo to live in. I asked her if she thought people might live in an igloo or if just bear live in them and she said, ‘just polar bears.’ So cute!
Today I took the kids to the book fair at school to pick out a few books. Arwen was having a hard time picking things out and Zoe said she didn’t want any books. I finally got Arwen to pick the ones she wanted and Zoe saw in the middle school section a book called, ‘Solving Zoe.’ She walked up to it, grabbed it and said, ‘Look, Z-O-E!’ I just said, ‘yep, Z-O-E, that’s your name.’ She had picked her book. I tried to tell her it was like a Mommy book with no pictures and not really a story I could read to her. She threw a complete fit right there in the room. I tried to explain it to her again and then finally asked her to sit in the hallway and wait for me. I ended up buying her a Cars book and a fairy book. She held that against me for hours! But hopefully tomorrow she’ll appreciate the new books and forget about ‘Solving Zoe.’

This week Nolan has fallen in love with The Lorax. He picked out a Lorax stuffed animal at Kohl’s and has been carrying it around for days. He’s so sweet and funny. When he gets a hold of one of his blankets or a stuffed animal, he’ll hug it, put his head down on it and sigh and smile. He’s such a sweet little cuddly guy!

Arwen is excited to leave in two days for Virginia. She’s telling everyone she sees that we are going and who we are going to see. Arwen is a wonderful big sister. I rely on her so much more than I ever should, but she’s so wonderful with Zoe and Nolan.

Friday, January 22, 2010

I can't imagine that kind of pain

I joined more than a hundred people tonight at Town Hall to show our support for a family that had to say goodbye to their three year old son just yesterday. His mother put her son down for his nap earlier in the afternoon and at 4:30, went into his room with his four year old sister to wake him. Together they found him hanging by the cord on his window blinds. He had been accidently strangled. Paramedics arrived soon after and pronounced him dead.
I can’t imagine the emotions she felt. I can begin to think of what she had to tell her daughter who was in the room with her when she found him. I can only hope the first responders were able to sleep last night after coming to such a scene. Daniel just turned three years old in October. He was just a few weeks younger than Zoe. I don’t know why he was picked to leave this world, and I’m not sure where he has gone. I’m not sure of his room was not considered safe or if he had blinds hanging on his windows much like the ones we have in our home. I remember saying a few years ago I wanted cordless blinds. We got the ‘safe’ ones with cords. After this incident, I’m certain they are not safe at all. I’m not sure what our solution will be since our children don’t seem to play with our blinds, but since Nolan is not yet even 11 months old, we’re not sure if our blinds will create a curiosity we have yet to see in our home.
Each day I try to tell my children how my I love them and how lucky I am to be their mother. I hope we are blessed with years with one another, and I hope they will always know no matter what may come of any of us that everything I do I do for them. For my children, I love you more than I love the sun on my shoulders, more than the pink clouds I see rising in the east each morning, and more than the moon hanging over the mountains on an early November morning. I can’t imagine life without you each day.