Tuesday, December 15, 2009

For my Arwen

For my children. I love you more than you could ever imagine. We know that life is only what we have in the moment. What we don’t know is how to live every moment as if we understand that. Truly understand that. I hope and pray I am with you for a long long time. The time I do spend with you will not be perfect. You won’t be perfect nor will I be perfect. As of now, I can think of things I have done or things I have failed to do with less than perfect results. Nolan is 9 months old – almost 10 months and I adore him so much, but I don’t spend nearly as much time holding him as I would like – or as he would like. Zoe is 3 now and is in preschool 2 days a week. I wanted to spend those other days teaching her to write like I taught Arwen when she was 3 years old. Arwen is in kindergarten and I don’t have as much time to spend teaching her those skills each day like I used to or like I would like. But I do so hope you all look back and know that everything I do each day I do for you and for our family. We do fun things. Today we made Christmas cookies. We made fudge, peppermint bark and 3 batches of cookies. That’s a lot to do with a 5 year old, a three year old and a baby. We had fun. We laughed. I laughed at you guys a lot.
There are some things I want to always remember about each of you. Arwen, you are so tender and loving. You are kind and gentle. You are the most creative person I know. I am glad I am here to give you ideas and to push your creativity. Though I know you will be wonderful at whatever you decide to become when you grow older, there is a part of me that hopes you do become an artist. An illustrator or baker of amazing cakes. A writer or painter. I hope that art gallery you told me you’d open a few months ago opens soon and as close to me as possible. I’d try to view your art each and every day. I can’t save everything you do, but I save a lot of your pieces and smile as I remember what you were doing the day you drew them. No matter the path you choose in life, please remember these paths are your choice and you can always decide a new path, but make your choices with as much knowledge behind as you can gather and know you can do anything. You are strong, you are brave and you are beautiful. You can do it. Try it and don’t ever give up. There is always something new to try.