Friday, January 9, 2009

Mother in law Chronicles

So we went to BRU to get our crib today. We had to go to 2 different stores because the first didn't have it in stock. The second is about 7 minutes from MIL's house. So I told Jeff he should call his mother to meet us for lunch. We had to eat anyway and it would get that silly little see her/visit with the kids obligation out of the way. We were about 40 minutes away and Jeff told her that. She said if she rushed, she could be ready in 20 minutes. OK...but why? We're 40 minutes away, do you really need to rush and then wait 20 minutes for us?
We got stuck in traffic and ended up being about 10 minutes late. I tried to call to leave a message, but she didn't answer, so we figured she already left. Then we started to wonder if she really got there 20 minutes early and left because she thought we didn't show up or were too late.
Anyway, we get to Ruby Tuesday. I had to pee - bad! So Jeff dropped me off at the front door and I fiugred I'd see her inside. Nope, I pee and come back to the lobby area and see Jeff and the kids, but no Mother in Law. So we wait about 5 minutes. I told Jeff we should just sit because the kids were hungry. It was already 12:30 and they are used to eating between 11 and 12pm. We sit. Fifteen minutes go by and she's still not there. Jeff forgot Zoe's blanket and was about to go out to the car to get it, but I wanted to order lunch first. So we wait 5 more before we can order, then he goes out to the car with Zoe. Now we're wondering if she is at BRU (in the same strip center area) so Jeff says he'll try to look over near their parking lot, but he's at the point where he just doesn't care. Let's eat, get the crib and go home, he says. When he comes back in with the blanket, she's with him. She said she was sitting in her car waiting for us - for over 15 minutes. So, we were going to having lunch in your car? This is Ruby Tuesday, not Sonic. They don't deliver to your car. Why the hell would you not go inside - especially after 15 minutes. And what's really funny is Jeff parked practically front bumper to bumper with her and she still missed him and my van. Oh well.

So then the conversations starts. You may remember the "a lot of restuarants have had freezing pipes problems" comment at Christmas dinner... That thought being based on one Denny's where BIL works having that very problem. She starts talking about the baby and how large I am. I know, she's so polite. But hey, at least she didn't come in telling strangers she'll have to strap me to the roof of the car like they did the dead grandmother in the movie Vacation, like she did years ago when I was pregnant. Evidently my van is large enough to hold me still. I had a CRV back then...must have been too small. So then she says, "Every body is having boys lately" The response that came to mind, "Yes, Nancy, didn't you get the newsletter from God? He's decided not to make girls anymore." But what I actually said was, "My friend, Amy, just had a girl." Still smartass, but not as much as what I was thinking. So then she started talking about 'that girl from Days of Our Lives", Alison Sweeney I guess....who by the way just had a girl. She didn't get the memo from God.

A bit later she said, I bet you can't wait until April! I'm due March 6th. So the smartass in me comes out and asks why can't I wait until April??? She said, "well, you know when all of this is over."
"All of what, Nancy?"
"The baby, when the baby is born."
I just simply said, like it's been my plan all along, "This baby will be here next month." I think I only have smart ass in me at this point.
She looked shocked and then back tracked and said, well, you know. When he's here and it's spring.
Yeah, because I'm looking forward to a few flowers I won't be able to stop and smell because I'll be stuck inside with a newborn nursing, crying and sleeping oh and two other kids with school and what not going on. I have nothing else going on...bring on the flowers.

So...at some point we leave. We walk to our car and I can see her car sitting right in front my mine, and remember I was dropped off, so I don't even know where everyone parked. She was walking across the parking lot in the opposite direction. I yelled out, "Nancy, aren't you parked over here?"
And I hear in the whiney, the sky is not blue just because I won't agree with you at all voice, "Nnnoooo?"
So I aksed Jeff. Isn't that her car? She still wandering and searching for her car. Finally she turns and heads our way. We say goodbye. Jeff and I have the kids buckled in and we are getting in when we see her back up without looking behind her. OK. Lucky. We back out and we are at the end of the parking lot when we turn and see her still sitting there crooked in her just backed up position but now with a car behind her waiting for her to move forward and drive on. Jeff just says, "She's confused. She doesn't know how to get out of the parking lot." It was a sad moment. I think he was right. We waited at a stop sign for a minute until we saw her move and then catch up to us. Sad sad...and yet so annoying at the same time.