Saturday, September 15, 2007

My little blue pill

• Oh, the things Tylenol PM does to me. Not the same as old boyfriends, but still it puts me in a haze and makes me wonder if I'm addicted since I seem to have to take it every night in order to sleep and since I only have headaches when I am breathing, the Tylenol part helps too! Much like old boyfriends...see the connection? Haze, addiction and headahces. Ahh, now it's all coming together. Or maybe you should take some too and it will all make more sense. Take some and come back in an hour to finish reading this blog.
Are you back? OK, I'll wait.
Since becoming a mom twice now, I can't sleep. Or maybe it has nothing to do with being a mom twice but more to do with having to wake up to help one to the potty twice a night and nurse the other about three times a night. By the third time I am up, my body is convinced the sun is up and it's time to run. And I'm not even sure why it's thinking that because it doesn't remember how to run, only faint memories of what running might feel like and that just makes me nauseous, so I try not to even think of it. So here's where the PM part of the Tylenol come in handy. Not only does it stop crazy thoughts like running at 3am, but I can help a small child to the potty, stop to pee myself, nurse and put everyone back to bed in my sleep! And when I get back into bed, my soft pillow just grabs at my head and pulls me down in the Alice's hole....or was it the rabbit's hole, shit better put that in the kid movie list. Note to self, better take different drugs while watching that movie.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Mommy's milk

• As of next month I will have been pregnant or breastfeeding for four years now. Tonight as I was nursing my walking and talking (well if you count "Hiiiiii" and "MomMommeeee", which I do because I am MomMomeeee and I like to be greeted) almost 12 month old, I started thinking about when I will stop nursing. I'm not sure. If she is my last baby, I'd like to continue for a while. If she is not my last baby, I may get to go on this joyous ride again. Or maybe I will line up twenty bottles a day and let Daddy be the sole source of food for a good year. He hasn't known the joy of waking up twenty minutes after you've fallen asleep by a baby screaming in your ear or waking up five times a night to care for someone that doesn't even know your name. All this because he doesn't lactate. And really, it would never be the same unless he had a baby attached to his nipples all night long and the only way he could get some sleep was with his right arm up above his head long asleep before the rest of his body and little suckling here and there with a huge tug as the baby tries to roll over with said nipple still in mouth.
Anyway, these thoughts were really about lessons, not bitching that I am the only one that lactates in this house. I am all for nursing. But here are some things I have learned. Not only will your body never be the same after pregnancy, your boobs become totally separate beings. Sure they are still attached to you and people will stare because your cute little Bs are now huge Ds, but they are not Pam Anderson Ds. They are Grandma May's Ds. Mine rest comfortably on my stomach, which will also never be the same, but I'm sure if I had another baby and nursed instead of forcing my husband to lactate, they would be down to my knees. When you first start nursing, people all over recommend a nursing pillow. I bought a Boppy. I loved it, it's was soft, it was comfortable, and I took it everywhere we went. When I had Zoe I couldn't wait to use it again. I put it in my lap, wrapped it around my belly, put Zoe on it and tried to nurse. This worked for about a week. Then it became incredibly uncomfortable. For some reason it was just easier to nurse her without the Boppy Pillow. For a while I just assumed it was because I was now a pro at this nursing thing since I nursed Arwen for fifteen months. But no, I soon realized it's because my boobs sit so much lower than they did after my first pregnancy, so Zoe could just lay down low in my lap and still reach my boobs. Boob texture is also something to think about before diving into the joys of nursing. Those cute and firm Bs I had when my husband first married me have turned into soft, sagging, lumpy sacks of milk. Before when I would lay on my back they would point to the ceiling screaming touch me touch me! Now they look left and right and if you were to come near them, you may just get sprayed in the face. My husband can attest to that. And today when I dared to put on a bathing suit, I noticed they have started to gently wrap around to my side and are nestled comfortably in my armpit. Not the whole of them, but a nice boob tire, if you will.
So if I were to meet a new mother today I would advocate breastfeeding, it really is a wonderful experience, really because most if it is done when you are half asleep and you don't remember much of it because you're in that Mommy haze anyway. Much like childbirth, which is why so many women keep doing it; they forget how bad it really is until they go into labor and oh shit, it's too late now! But I would also warn moms that you will never be the same. Your husband's mouth on your nipples is never quite the same because you just fed a small child just moments ago and it seems large enough to feed a small village. Or your husband is afraid to play anymore because he doesn't like his coffee that sweet even though he says he does. But most of all, it's really expensive to put them back into place. I do have a paypal account, and I'm willing to set up a Put Stephanie's Boobs Back In Place fund. This is probably my last child, unless I can talk my husband into putting up with me pregnant again and another year of no sleep. I guess I'm a bit of a bitch when I am pregnant, but I wouldn't remember, because like many mothers, I only hold onto the joys of motherhood. Such as cuddling with my babies all night long when everyone else is asleep; are you familiar with Art Bells' radio show, yea thought not because it's on from 1am to 5am! Oh, and being MomMomeeee!

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Toy guns and toddlers

I know parents talk about this stuff all the time, but I still need to do it myself.

So I've had a bad day and needed a time waster, so I called a friend whose husband is out of town and asked if she wanted to head to McDonald's to let the kids burn off some energy. A little playtime at McD's shouldn't hurt.

So we ate, then we let the kids play. They are all playing so well, and this playplace is great because it's all music stuff and brand new. They even have baby sized stuff for my little one to climb on. She was having a blast. So the first thing that happened was a big kid (like 8 or 9) kept climbing on the baby/toddler stuff and knocking Zoe over. His father said something to him once and that one time I notice his dad signing to him, so I didn't know if I should say something or not. I know a little bit of sign language, but I don't know "tell your kid to get the fuck off mine" in sign, so I didn't say anything at all.

Anyway...not the point at all, but speaking of point.... Two boys, about 5 and 7 came along one wearing toy handcuffs on his wrist and both carrying toy guns. They were very plastic looking, one bright orange and one silver. One walked right up to my 12 month old and pointed it in her face and said "bang bang" Now neither of my kids know what that means, but shit! Effing freaked me out. I told Arwen two more minutes, mumbled something like, "no, please don't do that" to the kid with the toy gun and moved Zoe to another area. After coaxing my three year old down from the slide area, one of the kids walked by me and pushed me to get by - I was half was in the play structure getting her to come down. I said, excuse me in a really rude fashion and then said that wasn't very nice. Now it's not usually my style to correct other kids, but this was pissing me off! So then the one that didn't push me said sorry and I thanked him for saying it. They went up, and came down the slide, I was getting my daughter's shoes on and the one that pushed came around pointing that gun at everyone. No one said a word. Until he got to me and pointed it at Arwen. I looked at him and said "Stop, get away from us, I don't like you pointing guns at my kids. Let us move out of the way and you can play, but not with us"
I was so pissed.

So here's the question. Do you let your kids play with toy guns? If you do, do they just do it at home or do you let them take them out in public? If you're not at that age yet, do you think it is right for parents to allow these kinds of toys in a public play area? I know they are just toys, but I feel that parents should respect that many kids might be frightened my them or many parents might feel uncomfortable and they should leave them at home and only play with them when they are around they friends that allow them, but not in a playplace for goodness sakes. We are Columbine....how many times a day do I see that on bumper stickers, license plates and other things living here.... what are your thoughts?

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Puke Fest!

No, not some great college band festival, but two weekends now of my kids throwing up on me every time I come near them. Now, when you are a puking toddler or a puking baby, you seem to want Mommy even more than normal. Who knew that was possible? But when Mommy comes near, you have that strong urge to purge. I am hoping not to pass the flu bug along to anyone else this week. I thought we all got lucky after last weekend when only my oldest had it. It seems the baby's strange diapers I've been talking about all week were a sign of another pass of the flu bug tearing up her tummy. All is good now, well....another bad diaper this morning, but all is good enough for now. I just hope my husband doesn't suddenly get the urge to purge on the flight to Georgia this morning! Boy that would suck!